The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
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