So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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