Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize