you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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