He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
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I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
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Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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