im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize