I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
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I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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