It's just like the Real World with babies
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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