quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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