I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize