We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
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It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
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I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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