The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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