I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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