I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize