I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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