I feel like abortions should bother me more
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
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