I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize