I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize