6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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