i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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