I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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