Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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