So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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