You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize