i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Send help, water and tortillas.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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