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So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
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