More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize