Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
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Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
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That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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