Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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