Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize