Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
it's like heaven, but drunker
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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