I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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