Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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