guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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