Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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