she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize