I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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