Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize