Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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