Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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