just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
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It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
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Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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