hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize