didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
time to smoke my breakfast
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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