Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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