is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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