u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
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I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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