You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
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I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
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I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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