I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
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Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
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I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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