Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize