dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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